Loading…

Rebuilding Relationships after Recovery

latest blog by Ibiza Calm

Ibiza Calm - Rebuilding Relationships after Recovery
19/11/2018 | category: News

Rebuilding Relationships after Recovery

For those struggling with addiction, the road to recovery can be a long and challenging one. First and foremost the individual must take all the necessary steps to get sober. Acknowledgement of the addiction, getting oneself into and completing a treatment program and then accumulating one sober day after another are all vital steps toward a healthy productive life. However, even after sobriety occurs, the recovering person may be faced with the realisation that life is not immediately better. Something essential to ensuring long term sobriety is repairing broken or strained relationships.

Finding a way back into the trust and friendship of partners, family and friends does not occur overnight. It takes hard work, commitment and a lot of patience. Those who witnessed the decline may initially and outwardly appear happy that recovery is finally occurring, but often the strain in the friendship caused by destructive nature of the addiction has created deep seated feelings of resentment, mistrust and hurt. The illness may have included betrayals, broken promises and numerous disappointments. Additionally the relationships may have been damaged by legal or financial problems and sometimes domestic violence. The person(s) are often mentally and physically exhausted having experienced the illness along with the addict. So understand that there may be some amount of resistance.

The following are some helpful suggestions on how to mend fences and rebuild relationships and following drug and alcohol treatment:

The first step is to reach out to those people you wish to reconnect with. Let them know you are in treatment or have completed treatment for your addiction, as the case may be. Sometimes this may be initially easier done with an email or letter. Let them know you are in the process of getting your life back on track and that you would like them to be part of it. Tell them your communication from now on is going to be honest, direct and clear.

Make sincere apologies for your mistakes or deceits; be as specific as you feel you need to be for what has happened between you in the past and ask for forgiveness. Once you have asked for forgiveness do not keep berating yourself for past mistakes. You no longer have the power to change anything that has already taken place. You can only move forward from this point by making better decisions in your relationships from now on.

Be patient and realistic in your expectations. You may have extended the proverbial olive branch, but sometimes the damage has occurred over years and true forgiveness may take time as well. Allow the other person to express their anger and disappointment. Take their feelings seriously. Don’t make excuses and try not to be defensive.

Work on your communication skills. Practice listening and responding calmly, without judgment. Make a commitment to be trustworthy by standing by your word. Letting your actions show your family or friend that you are seriously trying to be better.  Be open and transparent in order to regain trust. This may include telling a partner or friend exactly where you’re going at all times, who’ll you’ll be with, and what you’ll be doing. Show them you are not harbouring secrets. Openness is necessary especially in the early days after you’ve completed drug and alcohol treatment.

Take time to rebuild a positive structure to your life.  Eliminate toxic relationships with co-dependants that have yet to come to grips with their own addictions. This is vital to avoiding relapse.  If possible, get back to work. Spend quality sober time with family, your children and friends. Let them know how much you appreciate their support and friendship through tough times. Engage in healthy activities and seek out hobbies.

Finally, keep attending relapse prevention meetings as well personal or marriage counselling or sessions.  Friends and family members need to see you “walking the walk” to demonstrate that you are serious about your recovery. In time with patience, understanding and perseverance they will come around.

At Ibiza Calm, we have an expert team of professionals available at all times so please do not hesitate to call us if you need any help or advice or if you feel a loved one does. Please call  us on :


Share this information, choose your platform!

You might be interested in these blog posts, too:

How exercise and addiction recovery works

27/06/2018 | category: News

Does exercise have an important part to play in recovery? We are constantly told that regular exercise is a good for us but it could be the last thing on your mind when it comes to recovery. Many people exercise …

Why optimum nutrition is so important in recovery

21/06/2018 | category: News

Why optimum nutrition is so important in recovery A common bi product of addiction is lack of self-care and motivation to look after oneself. Eating a balanced diet, obtaining enough sleep and even consuming enough water can come bottom of …

Can nature aid your recovery?

05/07/2018 | category: News

Can nature aid your recovery? It’s not called the ‘great’ outdoors for nothing; nature supplies everything we need from oxygen to food and Ibiza has an abundance of nature. When you’re not in a good place spending time outside can …

April is Stress Awareness Month

20/04/2022 | category: News

Coping with stress and finding healthy ways to deal with tricky or demanding situations is vital for living a happy and productive life. Raising awareness and encouraging support, amongst friends, colleagues and in the community is a huge step towards …

Top